Saturday, to prove I'm not a social recluse, I went to WalMart. You read that correctly . . . I went to WalMart on Labor Day Weekend. I've never had a more difficult trip for cotton balls, sheet protectors, and two $5.00 movies.
For lunch, I decided to go to Panera. This is where the fun began! On a busy weekend it's a bloggers paradise; a regular plethora of blogger fodder.
When I first went in, I could hear someone bellowing out names at regular intervals. ROBERT! NANCY! ANGELA! One of the sandwich makers must have been new, and no one told him about the handy microphone. ALEX!
The guy who asked to take my order immediately took his eyes off me to busy himself with re-stocking, adjusting, and looking around. Those who know me will laugh at this; he actually said, "Nope, sorry, it's way too noisy in here. You're going to have to speak more loudly."
It's the bane of my existence that I will never be a soft-spoken woman. My step-father is extremely hard of hearing, so I'm used to speaking loudly and repeating myself often. Himself has damage to his ears, as do his father and brother. I've also sung on our church stage for 12 years. Trust me, I know how to project!
I noticed he would catch my order when he was looking directly at me. HAH! You're hard of hearing and you don't even know it. I know it, because I've dealt with it all my life. Keeping the same tone of voice, I ordered only when he was looking directly at me. What do you know; he understood me perfectly.
TONY!
BILL!
Fortunately, I happened to look at the name placed on my receipt. I never would have answered to JOAN! otherwise.
May I take a moment for a pet peeve?
Heelies. If you are a parent who allows their child to race around a crowded restaurant in their heelies, with a friend, you are not going to like what I'm about to say.
What if I were to strap on roller blades and go racing through a restaurant, weaving in and out of the customers? Would you not consider me rude? Would you not ask the management to speak to me?
WHY are heelies any different? Parents who allow their children to do this are on. My. List. You have been warned.
The teens chasing each other through the tables and out the door are NOT on my list. It was all I could do not to join in the game!
I get my food and sit down. I'm instantly amused by an older woman trying to clear a table for herself. Someone has placed three of those cardboard advertisements on her table, so she huffily moves them off to another table in need of cleaning.
Enter Mrs. Busybody.
Mrs. Busybody is on a mission. She's having lunch with her mother, husband, son, and granddaughter. She's not about to let the smallest detail escape her notice. She immediately grabs the cardboard ads and piles them on another table, bringing that table's total to 8. She's moving tables together, arranging chairs, and flagging down the harried busboy to wipe everything down. She's got the seating all figured out, but is momentarily thrown off by her little darling's, "Grammy, will you sit by ME?"
This woman did not sit down for the first 15 minutes of their meal. She looked like she would have a heart attack at any moment.
Behind her, on the comfy couches, a teen was asking her father if there was any yellow stuff oozing from her tongue piercing. "Ahhhh. . . can you see anything? Ahhhh. . . . ."
At one table, a woman was taking notes on the back of a Forever 21 receipt for her blog . . . . oops! That was me . . . .
ELIZABETH!
JOHN!
Every once in a while, I like to get out of the house. It makes me so happy to come back home.
8 comments:
Apparently, you're involved in the sport we like to call "people watching".
But isn't it oh-so-fun? People are very interesting.
Maybe you should have been an anthropologist?
:]
I love to read your blog!!! I was howling and H. was just giggling merrily. We, too, are people watchers. H. was just commenting today that it sometimes distracts her from her studies at UCF.
We were foolish enough to try swimsuit shopping on Labor Day. I am so clueless that it never occurred to me that there would be sales and crowds of people. I am NOT a shopper!!! Yes, in spite of the herds of cattle, er people, we were somewhat successful. But H. was wondering where K. got her cute board shorts.
All right, H., leave the people watching to those with a lighter course load! ;-)
The board shorts were found at Pac Sun, on sale, of course. You could try there, though I didn't see any when we were there last. You may have better luck at Sports Authority, up near my house (across from WalMart). They always have tons and they may be on sale.
I found mine at TJ Maxx. I lucked out!
Jess, my friend BT was heading down the anthropoloy road at one time. I was hoping to live vicariously through her on that one! We both became Moms instead.
Anthropology. I knew that didn't look right.
What are heelies?
Phyllis, heelies are regular shoes with wheels built into the heel of the shoe. Kids point their toes upward and zip around on them like roller skates. In restaurants. In grocery stores. At the mall. At Costco. Etc.
I'm sure you don't have this problem in Russia!
I forgot to mention that the wheels retract when the toes aren't pointed upward, making them a regular walking shoe.
Interesting. They'll probably be here in another few years.
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